Hello again or hello for the 1st time, as the title states this is my review of the ‘coming of age’ novel Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance by Alison Espach.
Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance by Alison Espach
- Category – Coming of age fiction
- Length – 352 Pages
- Read Time – 15 Days
- GR Rating – 4 Stars
The heaviest lesson to learn is that grief is a life-long journey, a new way of living that each person has to figure out for themselves. – V
SPOILER ALERT! There will be spoilers in this review! SPOILER ALERT!
This book was tough, as someone who so personally understands how heavy the burden of grief is, this book was tough. Any story about living in a state of grief is hard for me. This story centers around Kathy Holt, told in the pov of her younger sister Sally. SPOILER ALERT! Kathy dies in a car accident, her boyfriend Billy, driving, & Sally miraculously unharmed in the backseat. Billy blames himself, as he was the driver, Sally blames herself as she was the one who insisted they drive her to school, putting them on the path where the accident occurs. Sally’s telling of the story is a conversation, a conversation she’s having with her dead sister and with herself.
Kathy died while she was in high school, planning which college to attend, 16 years old, just beginning to experience the early freedoms of teenage-hood. Sally, 13 & in absolute awe of her older sister, intrigued by her very existence, by her teenaged-ness. The book starts off before, giving us a look at the sisters’ relationship together & their entwined tie to Billy. As the story continues we “listen” as Sally narrates living to her sister after her death, how their parents changed, how Billy changed, how her love for him stayed the same. This was my one gripe with the book, Sally was in love with Billy, since the 5th grade apparently the same time her sister, Billy’s peer, also fell in love with him, & continued to be in love with him thru the end of the book. Was she though? Sally was 13 years intrigued by & kind of obsessed with a boy who was “different” ever since he jumped off the schools roof in the 5th grade, sure calling that being in love as a pre-teen/emerging teen, understandable but then the story continues, she’s an adult, she’s gone to therapy to unpack her grief & the conclusion is still, she loves the “different” boy who jumped off the school’s roof in 5th grade aka her dead sister’s ex-boyfriend Billy. Oh but he also loves her, still, because he was also in love with her back then *insert side-eye*, so there’s that. Also, more spoilers, there’s that time they had sex, while she thought of the fact that she was having sex with the same guy that “sucked her sisters tits”, sooo a trauma bond…
Putting the ‘love’ between Sally & Billy aside, I like this story, grief does things to people, it changes people, it makes people desperate, grief is different for everyone. This book does a good job of showing what some different sides of it may look like, grief is after all a life-long journey. Sally makes some questionable decisions throughout her journey, she endures & perceivers. I also didn’t like too much how open the ending was left, usually I’d say that’s a good thing, it’s an opportunity to expand on the story but ehh, I don’t think I’d read a second part if there ever was one. Ultimately, I rated this book 4 stars because despite the 1 major issue I had & smaller eye-roll worthy moments overall I liked this book.
Thank you for joining me for another review, I’d love to read your thoughts on my review & of course on the book too.
- Have you read this book?
- What was your favorite part? (Mine was Sally’s retelling of the happy moments with their mother after)
- What was your least favorite part? (For me Sally & Billy’s love *insert eye-roll* for each other)
- How many stars do you rate this book?
Hasta la prĂłxima – V
Chatting with V 
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